Five Tips to Help Parents Prevent Bullying

 Parents and guardians are among a school's best allies in bullying prevention:


1) Talk with and Listen to Your Children Everyday Ask: questions about their school day, including experiences on the way to and from school, lunch, and recess. Ask about their peers. Children who feel comfortable talking to their parents about these matters before they are involved in bullying are more likely to get them involved after.

2) Spend time at School and Recess: Schools can lack the resources to provide all students individualized attention during "free" time like recess. Volunteer to coordinate games and activities that encourage children to interact with peers aside from their best friends.

3) Be a Good Example: When you get angry at waiters, other drivers or others, model effective communication techniques. As Education.com puts it, "Any time you speak to another person in a mean or abusive way, you're teaching your child that bullying is ok."

4) Create Healthy Anti-Bullying Habits: Starting as young as possible, coach your children on both what not to do (push, tease, and be mean to others) as well as what to do (be kind, empathize, and take turns). Also coach your child on what to do if someone is mean to him or to another (get an adult, tell the bully to stop, walk away and ignore the bully).

5) Make Sure Your Child Understands Bullying: Explicitly explain what it is and that it's not normal or tolerable for them to bully, be bullied, or stand by and watch other kids be bullied.

(These tips were adapted from materials by the National PTA and Education.com.)

USING CIRCLES TO IMPROVE LEARNING

The following is adapted from the work of Maurice Elias and L. Breune in "Social Decision Making/Problem Solving".


Whether one calls it a Sharing Circle, Morning Meeting, Sharing Time, Advisory Group, Circle Time or any of a number of related titles, the reality is that students welcome the chance to come together informally to address issues of social and emotional concern. Students benefit from a "buffer" between personally and interpersonally challenging parts of their day, and applying themselves to serious academic work. Especially challenging parts of their day include their prepariation for and trip to school, lunch and recess, and dismissal. For this reason, schools find it useful to have circle times and related gatherings to start the school day, after lunch/recess, and at the end of the day. Such activities recognize and help to implement three essential principles of social-emotional and character development (from "Lessons of Life", HOPE Foundation, http://www.hopefoundation.org/):

1) Caring Relationships form the Foundation of All Lasting Learning:  Gatherings bring everyone together and make a statement that while agendas are important, relationships come first. They also set a climate in which learning is most likely to be internalized.

2) Emotions Affect How and What We Learn:  Academic work can't proceed when students' emotions are churned up, when they are anxious, fearful, or angry. The group focus during start of the day gatherings is on providing an opportunity for some expression of concern, or at least using a ritual beginning to give students a chance to get their own emotions regulated a bit. By doing so, they are better prepared for the academic tasks ahead of them. After lunch or recess or at the end of the day, addressing students' emotions makes it more likely that students will recall and follow through on the day's learning.

3) Goal Setting and Problem Solving Provide Direction and Energy to Learning:  Gatherings provide a chance to reaffirm common goals, set personal goals, problem solve issues of general concern, or transition into the social-emotional and character development activity about to be undertaken. Gatherings also reinforce goals by providing opportunites for testimonials about progress on projects, attempts to use new skills, reflections on what has been learned, or to get feedback on aspects of what has been taught during the day that have been particularly challenging.